No one’s perfect in this world, and the last thing you want to do is stir the proverbial pot when trying to fix your friendship.įind a way to climb on top of that and gain the advantage of seeing over your obstacles.
Definitely counterproductive in fixing any relationship.Īccept the situation for what it is even if it doesn’t make any sense at the moment. Still figuring out who’s to blame? That means you’re still dwelling in the past.īlaming something on anyone brings back up your fighting stance. Believe me, you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose, because your current situation can’t get any worse. That button won’t bite you back.Īfraid they won’t reply to you? You haven’t spoken to them for a while anyway, so what’s to fear?īe fearless, take the leap, and go for it. Want to email them? Don’t be afraid to push that send button. Your goal, by withdrawing your ego, is to get your friend to withdraw their ego as well and open up, thus removing barriers in order to reconnect. These will definitely close the doors to communication. Lastly, be mindful not to criticize, judge, or complain. Keep in mind that your friend needs to vent as well you must mentally prepare yourself to listen to whatever opinions are thrown your way. Remove any defensiveness you’re harboring and open your heart, exposing your vulnerability.įace your fear of unpredictability even if you don’t know if your friend will accept or reject you. When attempting reconciliation, both your egos are just additional obstacles both of you have to bore through to make meaningful communication between your pure selves. Sometimes, we go out of our way to protect this projection, but this costs us, because we often don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego is a projection of how we want people to see us. Give your ego a break.Īn ego may have good and bad parts, but one thing’s for certain: Talking out loud about your frustrations not only can make you feel better but can also give you more focus and perspective in the rebuilding process. It’s actually about working through your feelings. Limit your diatribe to just one person you can confide in and trust. It’s not healthy to hold your feelings in and pretend you’re okay, so vent away.īut at the same time, don’t badmouth your friend to anyone who’ll listen. Sometimes you’ll feel the need to vent and validate your hurt feelings, and that’s okay. Otherwise, they may undermine your good intentions. Purge your frustrations.įrustrations can and will arise from time to time, so you’ll need an outlet to release stress and keep them from accumulating. If you get back into the mix too soon before you’ve both had a chance to cool off, you risk experiencing a repeat episode of the same argument. Let both of you gain your senses first and reflect on what happened. Tempers flared, and hurtful things were said. If you do anything now, you may cause more harm than good. If the argument was recent, allow some time for the psychological wounds to heal. These may work for you too, if you apply them wholeheartedly: 1.
#Void bastards destroy rifts how to#
Reflecting on my experiences taught me some valuable lessons about how to fix friendships.
We took some time to bring ourselves up to speed, but we ultimately fixed our friendship. After our talk, it’s like we never lost a beat. It just so happened he also wondered how I was and what I was up to. I felt the same and was eager to finally meet up and talk in person. I heard he wanted to get in touch with me. And if we can’t make sense of it all, maybe we wonder if we should let it be.Īfter four long years, our paths crossed once again. Maybe we won’t budge because we know we’re right (or refuse to admit we’re wrong). Sometimes we take a sole stand, even if it’s against close friends. Should I try to contact him? It had been so long, I didn’t know if I should even try any longer. It’s something you can’t sweep under the rug so easily.ĭuring that time, I wondered what he was up to. When someone means a lot to you and then disappears, it leaves this huge void in your life-and possibly all because you couldn’t admit any wrongdoing. Though at that time, I didn’t see it that way. We didn’t speak for what seemed like forever.Īdmittedly, I was the one to blame. That was until we had a huge disagreement. Growing up together since childhood, we became best friends-more like brothers through the years. You see, I had a falling out with my close cousin. Did I really waste four years by not contacting my best friend? I kept thinking about how many years had passed by. “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Teresa
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